And before you reject this idea look at the other side of it-since you created your past you can create your future as well. The only difference is that you can learn to create with purpose and not by default. Because you were creating by default and that’s why we are here!
I was also creating by default most of my life. I was reacting to the life circumstances I was presented with because I didn’t know any other way. My dad died when I was two years old. I don’t remember anything about him. I only had pictures and stories that weren’t so accurate. I always felt that void, that emptiness. I felt unprotected especially since my mom struggled a lot to recover after his death. I was born in a small country in South Europe where life is viewed as something hard and gloomy. Always under pressure financially, always wandering what if… what if he didn’t die, what if I wasn’t the only child, what if…
And I can tell you, with every passing day I was becoming more and more insecure, scared of life, and scared about my future. I felt like I was not enough, like I was outcast, I was different. Since my teenage days I had thoughts of how would it be just to leave this world…it’s not worth living, there is no joy, it’s only struggle and suffering. So I started punishing my body. I developed an eating disorder that I struggled with for the most of my adult life, for more than 15 years.
Deep down I was hopping that there is something more, some peace of happiness out there, just for me.
Life brought me to USA when I was 21 years old. My struggles didn’t subside with the change of location. If anything they were emphasized.
One glimpse of light for me was the book The Secret that was just published at about that time. Some people might like it, others may think it’s too simplified and commercial, but the point is that it was my “ticket” out and I grabbed it! After that I started reading anything I could find in self-help sector. I turned back to my “first love” psychology and for years I worked on building myself up. I already had business degree but that wasn’t what I wanted to do in life so I went back to college and studied psychology. I worked with different coaches that helped me set clear goals and build my self-esteem. I got training with some of the biggest self-help gurus, Tony Robbins and Louise Hay.
I invested all my time and my energy to create the life I want! It was a process that took many different turns and a lot of time. But I am grateful for every experience, good or bad, because it made me who I am now. I took charge of my life and decided to STOP being a victim! I realized that no one could do it for me. I have to be the one. I had that one life to live and if I don’t make the best of it no one will. I couldn’t turn back time and make my dad alive, but what I could do is make myself my own hero and my own protector.
The moment I realized that it was up to me and that I CAN and I WILL take charge, my life changed. It is not about changing your life circumstances. It is about changing the way you look at your life circumstances!! That is the whole point of the change. However, words don’t teach. Actions do. And constant striving for being the best you can be is what will take you where you want to be.